A Cataclysmic Epiphany, or how it all began.

Hello all you friends on teh interwebz! My friend Turtlespoon and I have been having a lovely visit.

Turtlespoon and I live about a 2-hour drive apart. We’ve been friends since before puberty – 30 years! This is a friendship that has outlasted several moves, a number of major life changes, and defies the laws of physics, particularly the time-space continuum. A couple of times a year we get together for a few days of fun. We laugh so much that our diaphragms get bruised, and we eat anything we want. We figure that any calories we eat during our time together get laughed off.

However, the other night at dinner, the conversation turned serious. If you can believe Hollywood, (and why shouldn’t we?) there is a zombie apocalypse coming, and sooner rather than later. We had been to IKEA earlier, and both of us were winded and sweating just from walking around looking at inexpensive Swedish furniture. This led to the ultimate question – what will happen to us when the zombies do come?

We looked down at our fat rolls and dropped our chopsticks in horror. If we had to outrun speeding zombies, we’d be dead in less than 30 seconds. We both knew that we’d reached the point of no return. If we wanted to be survivors, we had to make some changes, and FAST. But how??

Both of us are well-established yo-yo dieters. We both have to be threatened by small children with glowy eyes wielding pointy objects before we get our fat asses off the couch and exercise. And as many women do, we have that terrible tendency to highlight our failures while giving our successes too little attention. We needed some inspiration: a word or words to live by.

After considering several words to inspire us – active (too much pressure); energetic (not realistic); busy (we already are) – we decided on the word diligent. Diligence implies consistency. It implies keep trying, or in Dorie’s words, “just keep swimming!” It means, let’s get up in the morning and try again. It means, every step counts. It brings to mind the Flylady and her watchword: “baby steps!” This word will keep us thinking about our successes. What did we do well today? What did we do right? What baby step did we take?

So friends, here we will chronicle our successes. Please feel free to chime in with your own successes and your support. And remember what Mama taught you: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything! That goes for yourself too. This is a no self-loathing zone!

Most importantly, remember, the better shape you are in, the faster you can outrun the zombies!


Posted on July 21, 2011, in baby steps, friendship, weight loss, zombie apocalypse. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. I think diligent is a wonderful choice of words. I see the two of you diligently outrunning zombies and all other manner of horrid creatures, little fat rolls bobbing up and down with due diligence! Best of luck to you.

  2. Finally, a plan my husband would approve of! Being able to outrun zombies is a noble goal, and I need to pursue it, too. Sugar Mama, I can testify to seeing how incredibly successful you’ve been in the past – I was a witness. You’re not so much a yo-yoer as someone who already knows which direction to go in with those baby steps. You know you can get there.

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